Daily-Dose

Contents

• From New Yorker
• From Vox
• From The Hindu: Sports
• From The Hindu: National News
• From BBC: Europe
• From Ars Technica
• From Jokes Subreddit

From New Yorker

• The Uncertainties of the Omicron Variant - The new coronavirus strain is worrisome—but its effect won’t be the same everywhere. - link

• The Supreme Court and the Future of Roe v. Wade - Abortion rights may hinge on a case involving a Mississippi law—and the errors of fact and judgment in the state’s brief are staggering. - link

• The Code of Chris and Andrew Cuomo - Newly released documents show that the CNN anchor, who was suspended by the cable news network on Tuesday, was closely involved in efforts to defend his brother. - link

• Trump’s COVID Coverup - During the 2020 campaign, the former President tested positive days before debating Joe Biden and kept it secret. - link

• Victimhood and Vulnerability in the Ghislaine Maxwell Trial - The former socialite and associate of Jeffrey Epstein’s has been compared by one of her attorneys to the Biblical Eve, a woman asked to pay for the sins of the man, as if a woman can’t also make a perfectly legitimate criminal. - link

From Vox

• To catch variants like omicron, the world needs to sequence way more virus genes -

  

  The US’s genome sequencing system has improved, but surveillance is dangerously inadequate in much of the world.

  The omicron variant of the coronavirus has already shown up in more than 20 countries and it was in the United States by late November, health officials announced on December 1. A traveler who returned to California from South Africa was infected with the variant, which is also known to scientists as B.1.1.529.

  “The individual was fully vaccinated and experienced mild symptoms, which are improving at this point,” Anthony Fauci, head of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Disease, said during a White House press conference on Wednesday. “So this is the first confirmed case of Covid-19 caused by the omicron variant detected in the United States.”

  Omicron may be more transmissible than other versions of the virus, and its arrival adds huge urgency to genome sequencing efforts. By looking at the genes that code for the virus, scientists can distinguish the various strains of SARS-CoV-2, the coronavirus that causes Covid-19. They can often trace where it came from and anticipate some of the traits that set it apart, like how readily it could spread or how easily it could evade our immune systems.

  The US has gotten drastically better at this kind of detective work, said Kristian Andersen, a professor of immunology and microbiology at California’s Scripps Research Institute, in an email. But the country is still relying on an ad hoc patchwork of laboratories, making it hard for scientists to sequence genomes quickly and report results for everyone to see. “A lot of it is still hacked together, including our own operations here in San Diego,” Andersen said.

  And there are still places in the world where barely any genetic sequencing of SARS-CoV-2 is occurring at all. Other more dangerous variants of the virus may be lurking in those blank spaces. That’s why scientists say the search for the next variant shouldn’t be limited to countries with the most resources and labs, like the US. Many are urging wealthier countries not only to distribute Covid-19 vaccines and treatments, but also to bolster viral sequencing across the world.

  Genome surveillance is why we know about the omicron variant at all

  The origins of omicron still aren’t clear, and we don’t know how it arrived in different countries. But the variant showed how quickly a virus can spread undetected.

  South Africa and Botswana announced in late November that they detected the new variant, but it was likely already circulating in those countries for weeks based on the number of cases detected. Health officials in Belgium, Germany, and the Netherlands later reported that samples showed that the omicron variant may have already been in Europe by the time South Africa and Botswana raised the alarm.

  It’s not an accident that South Africa was among the first to find it. “The variant is much more prevalent in South Africa than Europe — the higher the prevalence, the more likely one is to detect it,” Andersen said. “That said, South Africa has excellent surveillance that is better than most other countries.”

  Genetic surveillance might also explain why omicron was found in California first, at least according to California Gov. Gavin Newsom. “It’s not surprising in many respects that California is announcing the first case,” Newsom said at a press conference on Wednesday. The state is a hub for biotechnology, and the University of California San Francisco has “one of the leading genomic sequencing institutions in the world,” he added.

  Detecting new variants as they start to spread is a massive scientific and logistical challenge. Scientists and health officials often have to sequence the entire set of genes — the genome — that codes for the coronavirus in a sample, a process that’s far more expensive and complicated than simply testing whether people are infected. SARS-CoV-2’s genome is about 30,000 base pairs long and codes for 29 proteins.

  Researchers then look for telltale mutations that reveal the presence of a variant. (Some conventional Covid-19 PCR tests can also be tweaked to sort between different variants, but that requires a more sophisticated screening system.)

  Genetic information is already helping Covid-19 vaccine manufacturers study how to tailor their immunizations to omicron, though companies say that their current vaccine formulations still appear to be effective. But the announcement of the variants also led to restrictions on travelers from African countries, something that scientists worry could deter countries from reporting future variants. Surveillance is most effective if the information is shared globally, so staying ahead of new mutations demands international cooperation.

  Many countries have struggled to keep up with the genetic surveillance needed to see which version of the virus is causing the most damage, often for lack of money and resources. The US was also criticized for not doing enough genome sequencing to stay ahead of variants as the new strains took root earlier this year. “It’s embarrassing, is all I can say,” Diane Griffin, a microbiologist and immunologist at Johns Hopkins, told Vox in January.

  The US has since stepped up its genetic surveillance of SARS-CoV-2, bolstered by an influx of more than $1 billion to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, city health departments, and state governments to identify the specific variants of the virus in circulation. Officials also invested in creating reporting systems for SARS-CoV-2 genomes. US government labs this year have more than doubled their rate of genome sequencing. Private labs and academic institutions have also chipped in.

  US labs are now sequencing and reporting 29 genomes for every 1,000 Covid-19 cases detected, about 20,000 per week, which puts the US among the top 20 countries in the world. “We have very few blind spots in the US as a result of this,” Anderson told Vox.

  Still, it takes the US a median time of 28 days to sequence these genomes and upload the results to international databases. Contrast that with the United Kingdom, which sequences 112 genomes per 1,000 cases, taking a median of 10 days to deposit their results. A delay of only a few days in detection can give variants time to silently spread within communities and across borders.

  Massive gaps in Covid-19 genetic sequencing leave the world vulnerable to variants

  There are huge swaths of the world where genome sequencing is lagging far behind the US and other wealthy countries. “This means that there is a delay in detecting and reporting novel variants in regions of the world where there are low levels of sequencing and data sharing,” Alina Chan, a molecular biologist at the Broad Institute, said in an email.

  COVID CG

  With vast shortfalls in genome sequencing across South America, Africa, and Asia, other dangerous mutations in the SARS-CoV-2 virus may remain undetected. But sequencing genomes demands time and resources that also have to be balanced with other public health needs. In a pandemic, health officials have to weigh genetic surveillance against testing, treatment, and vaccination, and there’s only so much money and lab capacity to go around.

  “We cannot sequence every single person who tests positive,” said Emma Hodcroft, a molecular epidemiologist at the University of Bern. “We will miss things that are circulating at very low levels.”

  Hodcroft and Andersen said an ideal benchmark would be to sequence between 5 percent and 10 percent of genomes in positive Covid-19 cases across the world. However, they acknowledged that this would be immensely difficult in countries with fewer resources. “Even getting a sequencing machine to a lot of these countries is an absolute logistical nightmare, and we have not done a whole bunch in this pandemic to try and support more global sequencing surveillance,” Hodcroft said.

  So in addition to sharing vaccines and tests for Covid-19 with developing countries, countries like the US should also help set up laboratories around the world to conduct more genetic surveillance and reporting. Otherwise, another variant could surprise the world and undo some of the hard-fought progress against the virus.

• Virgil Abloh forever changed the relationship between fashion and language -

  

  The multitalented fashion designer, who died at 41, will be remembered for his genius, his sense of irony, and his many challenges to fashion’s status quo.

  Certain terms crop up every now and then during particular moments in pop culture: “Curator” is one that’s recently been used to describe a host of creative tasks unrelated to its historical use; “creator” or “creative” as a noun is another that’s rapidly come to the fore. The use of such words can be empowering, giving names and shapes to concepts that might otherwise seem outside our grasp.

  These terms also come under critique; they can be limiting, keeping some people in while rejecting others. But in that liminal space is room to make paths, to draft new worlds, to — as Octavia Butler put it — write yourself in.

  Virgil Abloh, who died from a rare cardiac cancer November 28 at the age of 41, played with the contrary in language and art; his label, Off-White, is quite literally named after the space in between polarities. Like Black creative production has done for centuries on end, he bent language, played with it, funked it up, stretched it to its limits to see what words could do, to see what else was possible.

  He adamantly resisted boxes — unless, of course, he could write “SHOEBOX” on them in all caps and with quotations. The both/and of it all was a part of Abloh’s aim. Of this middle space, this sense of teetering the line, people cheered, others laughed at his wit, and others critiqued because they were unimpressed, disappointed, or expected more from him. All in all, it got the people talking.

  Never one to follow all the rules, Abloh’s very presence — most definitively his appointment as the first Black designer to helm a branch of Louis Vuitton — pushed against the grammar of a fashion system that for so long has excluded Black people. He chose the word “maker” to describe his profession, which spanned a host of mediums, beginning with his education in engineering and architecture that later melted into his love of music and design.

  John Shearer/WireImage

  Apt to wear many hats, in the early 2000s, Abloh balanced his job at an architecture firm in Chicago with writing for a streetwear blog called The Brilliance, offering details about his recent purchases, opinions on design, and jaunts through major fashion and arts events (by this time, he had already begun his famed acquaintanceship with Kanye West). Calum Gordon, writing for Garage in 2018, connected Abloh’s blog posts to the manifestation of his earlier designs, from screen-printing the name of his first fashion brand “Pyrex 23” on Ralph Lauren Rugby shirts to his use of quotation marks on everything from Nike Air Jordans to a “Lewis Vuitton” jumpsuit and jacket he designed for his mid-career retrospective Figures of Speech in 2019 at the Museum of Contemporary Art Chicago.

  Such aesthetic moves fell under the rubric of Abloh’s contentious “3 percent” approach — the idea, as he told Doreen St. Felix in 2019 for the New Yorker, that you can create a new design by changing the original by 3 percent. These practices are what also constantly brought him under fire. To him, spelling out words in Helvetica fonts and placing quotation marks around them on any object that grabbed his attention (or that he was hired to design) meant a sneaker was not just a sneaker; it was instead a “SNEAKER.” Speaking of his use of quotation marks, Abloh told Fast Company in 2019, “It’s a device, it’s a contextualization of a word without getting into the design. It was always meant for that. I can be literal and figurative at the same time, or not.”

  In his history-making role as the creative director for Louis Vuitton Men’s, Abloh continued experimenting with terms and language, pushing the fashion house forward in compelling and increasingly sophisticated ways. For his fall/winter 2021 show, he drew on James Baldwin’s essay “Stranger in the Village,” first published in Harper’s in 1953 and then in his book Notes on a Native Son in 1955. In the piece, Baldwin discusses his experience being the only Black person in a small Swiss village, which then prompts contrasts and comparisons to his experiences as a Black man in the United States. In his opening sentence, Baldwin writes: “From all available evidence no black man had ever set foot in this tiny Swiss village before I came.”

  As written in the show notes for that season’s collection, Abloh drew on Baldwin’s experiences and critiques to investigate “the unconscious biases instilled in our collective psyche by the archaic norms of society.” For the video component of the show, Abloh bifurcated his runway, filming models and performers in a village in the Swiss mountains and on a set in Paris.

  Exploring archetypes like the writer, the artist, the drifter, among others, there were spoken word performances by Saul Williams and Kai Isaiah Jamal, and musical ones by Yasiin Bey. In a review by Vogue’s Sarah Mower, Abloh said of the collection, which also included a printed fabric that harked back to his Ghanaian heritage but covered in the Louis Vuitton monogram, “There are a lot of stories mixing cultures. And from that, a new language will be created.”

  Peter White/Getty Images

  Of all the archetypes mentioned, one is eager to wonder if Abloh saw himself, the maker, as a stranger of sorts. While in Baldwin’s essay no Black man had set foot in the Swiss village, none had stepped into the role that Abloh had assumed at Louis Vuitton. One can only imagine what it must have felt like to be one of a few in this world of luxury — a bastion of excess and exclusion — that for so long had not cared about Black people’s perspectives on and experiences of fashion.

  Near the end of the essay, Baldwin writes, “It remains for him to fashion out of his experience that which will give him sustenance, and a voice,” and perhaps Abloh saw something in this line, too.

  Certainly Baldwin was not referring to literal fashion, but one could connect the dots that lead to the core of what Abloh said was his responsibility as a maker “to a community that is trying to change the tide.” In an audio component that accompanied Abloh’s Figures of Speech, his collaborator and friend Tremaine Emory said of Abloh’s design sensibilities, “He took the means that he had, somewhat meager, and made something beautiful because he told a story … what we have to say is important and what we care about is important. That’s what streetwear is to me. It’s communication, language.”

  Returning to the contrary nature of language: It’s difficult to find what to say during some of the most difficult periods, including grief. How to mourn a person with whom you had no personal relationship, never met? How to pay respects to someone whose artistic practices were simultaneously thorny and revered? How to memorialize someone who had seemingly done it all and was also just getting started? Maybe we do what he did: make, create.

  What Abloh displayed was what language does, what it provokes one to do. Throughout his short but industry-defining career, Abloh drafted his own lexicon that was often open to critique and always up for grabs (because he kind of wanted it that way).

  He is arguably a part of a cohort of Black designers that has inspired Black youth, specifically Gen Z and millennials, to describe themselves as creatives — a term that allows for some space to shapeshift, experiment, explore, get it wrong if you need to a couple of times. Within Abloh’s lexicon one can create their own T-shirt line and have it never just be a T-shirt. Instead, whole communities of belonging can be formed around one. Now that’s a “T-shirt.”

  Rikki Byrd is a writer, educator, and curator living in Chicago.

• Booster shots today could fight omicron tomorrow -

  

  The CDC is encouraging Covid-19 booster shots now while we wait on more omicron variant data. Here’s why.

  With the omicron coronavirus variant now detected in the US, Covid-19 booster shots may feel more urgent than ever.

  The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention now advises that all Americans over 18 should get an additional dose of one of the approved Covid-19 vaccines, a stronger recommendation than its guidance in recent weeks. And the agency linked its update to the new variant.

Many experts also support boosting the entire population; others remain skeptical about whether the US should prioritize additional shots for all healthy adults, given that protection against serious illness and death from two shots appears to be holding up.

By and large, experts in both camps say omicron has not changed how they are thinking about booster shots — at least not yet.

First, while it’s too early to tell how vaccines will hold up against omicron, many experts doubt that a new formula to fight off the variant will be needed. Existing vaccines, plus the overall boost in antibodies from a booster shot for many people, could ultimately be enough.

“I don’t think we are going to need variant-specific boosters,” Monica Gandhi, professor of medicine at UC-San Francisco, told me. She pointed out the measles vaccine, which was developed in 1963, has never been updated.

Second, while we don’t know when or if omicron will become the dominant strain in the US, booster shots offer one benefit right now: They protect you against the version of the virus that is already dominant in the US right now, the delta variant. Cases have risen, immunity from shots in the spring may be waning, and the cold weather and the holidays are driving people inside.

The broader outlook, not fears of an omicron wave, is the most pressing reason to get a third shot, experts say.

Will we need an omicron-specific booster?

The omicron variant appears to have significant mutations compared to previous versions of the virus, which may make it more likely to overcome immunity from vaccines or prior infections. But it will take weeks for the data to come in on whether this is actually happening, and even more time to know what it would mean for people who are already vaccinated.

Several of the experts I spoke to suspected an omicron booster would not ultimately be necessary. “I think the more likely bet, like the other three variants, is this variant also will be protected against serious illness,” Paul Offit, director of the Vaccine Education Center at the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia, told me.

The vaccines have already held up relatively well against the delta variant; there was some decline in vaccine effectiveness in protecting against any illness as delta became dominant over the summer, according to CDC studies. But the protection against severe illness — meaning hospitalization or death — remained strong for most people with the two-dose regimen. That is seen as evidence that the existing vaccines may perform strongly against omicron, too, even with its numerous mutations.

“The vaccines protected against the very recent surge caused by the delta variant, even though delta differs genetically from the vaccine strain,” Matthew Laurens, a professor with the Center for Vaccine Development and Global Health at the University of Maryland, told me.

The higher antibody response to the virus you have after a booster shot might also provide broad protection against different variants, including omicron.

“The recent results of booster studies for mRNA vaccines support that a third dose increases the antibody response to vaccination,” Laurens said, “and a higher antibody response likely will include more antibodies that are able to cross-protect against variant virus.”

The bottom line: While there’s still a lot we don’t know, current booster shots could be enough to do the trick against omicron, which is why the CDC is pressing ahead with urging all US adults get an additional dose.

“The recent emergence of the Omicron variant (B.1.1.529) further emphasizes the importance of vaccination, boosters, and prevention efforts needed to protect against COVID-19,” CDC Director Rochelle Walensky said in a statement accompanying the new guidelines.

The booster debate doesn’t necessarily change with omicron

There is still some disagreement among experts about whether booster shots are appropriate for everybody. The omicron variant may not change that debate.

The vast majority of experts agree that booster shots make sense for older and immunocompromised people, who do not receive the same protection from the two-dose regimen as the rest of the population. There has been less consensus about boosters for younger and healthy adults, though the CDC now recommends an additional dose for everyone over 18.

The skeptics point to the evidence that the vaccines remain strongly protective against severe symptoms for younger, healthier people, even if their effectiveness in preventing any illness has slipped. They worry about the risk of side effects, such as heart inflammation, for healthy people who may not benefit much from another dose.

“I don’t think we have enough data to say this vaccine isn’t doing what it’s supposed to be doing, which is protect against severe illness,” Offit told me. “This vaccine continues to do that. We sort of damn it by calling these mild illnesses breakthrough infections.”

They are also concerned that the booster drive could distract from the campaign to get shots to unvaccinated people, both in the US and the rest of the world. About 30 percent of the US population remains unvaccinated; 44 percent of the global population — 3.4 billion people — have not received a single dose of a Covid-19 vaccine.

There are biological reasons that immunity against any symptoms would fade but protection against serious illness would hold up. The human immune system has multiple layers of defense against outside invaders.

Antibodies can stamp out a virus before it ever develops into an infection — but they are also more likely to dwindle over time. Memory cells, on the other hand, can last for years and, though they activate more slowly, they can prevent symptoms from becoming too severe after an infection has already begun. In other words, while your immune system might not be as good at preventing you from getting sick at all, it still has the necessary tools to prevent a mild illness from developing to the point you have to go to the hospital.

“Most scientists believe we should still have protection against severe disease with vaccinations with the omicron variant,” Gandhi said. “If you want a burst of new antibodies against the virus to protect you from mild breakthroughs, the original vaccine’s booster should work to do that.”

Some of these skeptics have also argued the US needs to be more specific about what the booster campaign is supposed to achieve. Is it supposed to stop all illness? Or is it just supposed to help prevent the worst outcomes and make Covid-19 something we can live with?

But some people really don’t want to get sick at all.

“I got my shingles vaccine not because I thought I would die from shingles. I got it because I did not want to get shingles,” said Peter Hotez, co-director of the Texas Children’s Hospital Center for Vaccine Development. “That’s true of most adult vaccines.”

While the two-dose regimen has held up pretty well against the currently dominant delta variant, that has been evidence of some waning protection against severe illness. As Harvard Medical School’s Michael Klompas wrote in JAMA earlier this month, a number of ongoing investigations “suggest that there may be a parallel decrease in vaccine effectiveness against hospitalizations with the passage of more time.”

That would strengthen the case for boosters, and boosting can have other benefits as well. The vaccines appear to lead to less transmission and also reduce the chances of long Covid if the person does become infected with the virus.

Many experts are persuaded that the benefits of boosting most everybody outweigh the risks — a stance the CDC has now endorsed too.

“The evidence for boosters is pretty compelling, and is in response to concerns about waning immunity against the current strains of the virus we are already living with,” Jen Kates, director of global health and HIV policy at the Kaiser Family Foundation, told me. “Delta is still the dominant variant in the US and that should be the primary concern for anyone.”

From The Hindu: Sports

• Ind vs NZ 2nd Test | Kohli hints at extra pacer considering overcast conditions; Southee hopes for more swing - New Zealand pacer Tim Southee feels Mumbai pitch may offer more swing

• Omicron scare | Virat Kohli hopes to get clearer picture on South Africa tour in next couple of days - “It is important that we are not left in a confused situation or spot,” Kohli said

• Sanju retention was no-brainer, he is Rajasthan Royals’ long-term leader: Sangakkara - Ahead of the IPL 2022 auction, the franchise retained two Indians and one overseas player in the form of their influential skipper Samson, uncapped young batter Yashasvi Jaiswal and star Englishman Jos Buttler

• Legendary Anju Bobby George wins Woman of Year Award from World Athletics - The 44-year-old Anju, the only Indian to have won a medal in the World Championships with a long jump bronze in the 2003 edition, was named for the award in the world body’s annual awards night

• WTA suspends events in China over Peng Shuai concerns - Body cites failure of authorities to probe allegations of sexual abuse by political leader

From The Hindu: National News

• 11.7% rise in 2nd dose coverage till November 30 during Har Ghar Dastak vaccination drive - Launched on November 3, the ‘Har Ghar Dastak’ campaign aims at awareness, mobilisation and vaccination of all eligible beneficiaries through house-to-house visits in all states and Union territories.

• Only those who have families can understand their pain: Akhilesh Yadav - BJP has alleged that SP only stood for Yadav clan and indulged in dynasticism

• State seeks withdrawal of RBI notice on coop. societies - RBI cautioned against societies using ‘bank’ in their names without authorisation

• ‘Larger conspiracy’ to malign State of Gujarat, SG tells SC - He was countering appeal filed by Zakia Jafri and Teesta Setalvad against closure of plea to probe a “larger conspiracy” involving highest echelons of Gujarat in 2002 when Modi was CM

• Periye twin murder case | CBI arrested innocent; they know nothing about it: CPIM district Secretary Balakrishnan - CBI has included former Uduma MLA and the CPM district Secretariat member K.V. Kunhiraman as the 21st accused in the case.

From BBC: Europe

• Covid Omicron: Time to consider mandatory jabs, EU chief says - EU countries should discuss forced vaccinations to combat the Omicron variant, says Ursula von der Leyen.

• Merkel picks German punk singer Hagen for last serenade - Nina Hagen’s song will be played during a military ceremony in the outgoing chancellor’s honour.

• Munich WW2 bomb blows up near station, wounding four - The “aerial bomb” blows up on a railway construction site close to the main station.

• Austria: Doctor fined for amputating wrong leg of patient - The patient’s right leg was removed instead of his left, with the mistake discovered two days later.

• Forty-three fishing licences given to French vessels for Guernsey waters - The licences, all for vessels registered in Normandy or Brittany, come into force in February 2022.

From Ars Technica

• Getting software to “hallucinate” reasonable protein structures - Process resembles repeatedly asking the software “does this look like a protein?” - link

• Really stupid “smart contract” bug let hackers steal $31 million in digital coin - Company says it has contacted the hacker in an attempt to recover the funds. Good luck. - link

• Twitch’s “ban evasion” flag is a bigger anti-hate tactic than you might think - Livestreaming platform draws rare line in the moderation sand. - link

• Reddit adds real-time conversation features, live upvote counts, and more - Users will be able to see vote counts and comments change on the fly. - link

• Report reveals which sealed NES games are the rarest of the rare - Wata Games population report includes some seemingly one-of-a-kind variants. - link

From Jokes Subreddit

• A police captain moved to a small town, upon his arrival the locals warned him there were no women in town … -

  He was told that whenever he wanted to get laid he should come near the river and wait for his turn.

  He never spoke about the issue with people in town until couple of months in the new job, the captain realised he could no longer wait.

  He rushed to the river and saw a long line of men and a donkey right at the end. He was the man of the law so people stepped aside as the captain walked his way to the front without waiting in line.

  As he walked he took his clothes off, sweating, but making peace with the fact that the donkey was his last resort. He fucked the donkey hard while everyone watched, taking his time and going as many times as he pleased.

  Once he was satisfied he looked back and realised everyone was stunned, he then yelled, “I’m finished now, who’s next?”

  Until one of the men waiting in line replied. “No, captain. You got it wrong. The brothel is the other side, we only use the donkey to cross the river.”

  submitted by /u/theriffguy
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• What’s black and never works? -

  Decaffinated coffee you racist bastard

  submitted by /u/OgStonedBoi
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• Three vampires are having a competition to find out who’s the most vicious vampire amongst them. -

  The first one says, “Watch this,”

  He flies fast, at about 100 miles/hour. After 10 minutes, he comes back with blood all over his mouth.

  “What happened?” asked the other vampires.

  “Did you see that house over there?” he inquired.

  The others nod their heads.

  “Well… I killed the entire family and sucked the blood dry!” he replied.

  “Wow, fascinating!”, replied the other two.

  Then the second one takes the next turn, “Watch and learn, guys!”

  He flies even faster, at about 120 miles/hour. After only 5 minutes, he comes back with blood all over his mouth and his neck

  “What happened??” they asked.

  “Do you see that village over there?” he inquired.

  The others nod their heads.

  “Well… I killed every last person on that village and sucked the blood dry!”

  “Wow, amazing!”, replied the other two.

  Finally the last one steps up and says, “Don’t blink or you’ll miss it”

  He flies really fast, even faster than the other two, at about 140 miles/hour. After mere 30 seconds, he comes back with blood all over his mouth, his neck, and his nose.

  “Wh..what did you do???” they asked.

  “Do you see that big ass tree over there?” he inquired

  “Ye..yes?!” they replied awestruck.

  “Well.. I didn’t”

  submitted by /u/HPCTRTW
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• I told my wife I’m going cool myself to -273.15 degrees C. -

  She has nothing to worry about, I’ll be 0K

  submitted by /u/pterodactylwizard
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• A doctor is delivering a baby. The head comes out and the baby says “Hey, you my dad?”. The doctor is shocked, says no and the baby shoots back inside the mother. The doctors calls the gynaecologist over to have a look. -

  Again the baby’s head pops out, “Hey, you my dad!?” The gynaecologist says no and the baby shoots back inside the mother.

  The doctor and gynaecologist decide they better get the father who was too squeamish to be in the delivery room.

  So the father looks between his wife’s legs. The baby’s head pops out again. “Hey, you my dad?”

  Father “Yes!”

  Baby, “Well come here” and a tiny arm squeezes out, and starts to punch the top of the father’s head nonstop while shouting “HOW…WOULD…YOU…LIKE…THIS…TO…HAPPEN…EVERY…NIGHT…OF…YOUR…LIFE”

  submitted by /u/Make_the_music_stop
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